Summer skin - tripleguard (D37)

I've never itched so much in all my life. It would drive you mad. It's stopping me sleep, and once you start that's it. You can't stop until it's painful, then it hurts. I could have got Ross River Fever or something.

Yesterday was a lovely day. The sun was out, not too hot, just right. A gentle morning, shorts, T-shirt and thongs. I'm not explaining again about the thongs. Sunnies, what they call sun glasses, and suncream (SPF15), it's gonna be a scorcher. A cup of tea in the dappled shade. The Crimson Rosellas and King Parrots feeding off the bird tables. Vegetables are growing on the vegetable patch. Bird and insect noises enlivening the moment. A white butterfly skips between the petunias, roses and Peruvian lilies The Buddha, serenely surveys his vista. He has arrived at his place of peace and enlightenment.

This is where I must have been bitten to fury, all the way up both legs and arms, for this little paradise is home to millions of these little biting creatures. At the time you don't feel anything, but as the histamine is released the itching becomes irresistible. I've escaped the other animal hazards in this country only to be got by these insects.

'There's a dying rat in the corner, what shall we do?' says JD in a rather too casual way. 'Shit' I jump up. 'Where?' It's over there in the corner. A disgusting rodent, lying on it's side, twitching occasionally.

I forgot to tell you there is a raised pond in the garden and an island in the middle of it. So I'm off to it and stay there until the situation is resolved.

Kim is, by now, appraised of the situation. JD is going to have to pick it up and put it into a bag for disposal. He seems reluctant. 'Don't look at me' I whimper. 'My heroes' observes Kim sarcastically.

No, well, it needs thinking about, JD, correctly in my opinion, asserts. This is not to be rushed into. Kim hands him a plastic bag, a stick and some yellow marigold gloves. He approaches the creature gingerly and, from the safety of a low wall prods it tentatively and jumps back. It moved. OMG it isn't dead yet. 'Lets leave it til later' I offer helpfully from my vantage point. No, it's going to have to be done now. OK then. He prods it again, less movement.

'Give me the gloves' says Kim firmly. To everyones relief Kim takes charge. 'You get the bag' she orders, 'and I'll hold the stick'. The rat is by now trapped, helpless in it's weakened state, by the stick. But will it muster a final Hurrah? or be able to inflict a deadly bite? What if it's carrying a horrible disease? I'm not moving. JD needs to consider the options carefully. There's no point rushing these things. It's got to be done properly. 'Get on with it' barks Sargent major.

JD approaches the rat again with the bag. Maybe two bags in case it escapes one. 'Hurry up'. He approaches once more. Now what? ' You grab it's tail and stick it in the bag.' he quivers. 'My braveheart' mutters Kim again under her breath. Sure enough though, she grabs the tail and into the bag. The rat twisted, it's last resistance, before giving up to it's fate.

We all relax, well nearly. I'm still not sure it's dead so wait a little until finally, bravely, coming down from my position. Sorted.

Next stop, collect some pies from Blackheath and we'll have a picnic lunch on Mt Blackheath itself. Blackheath is a suburb of Blue Mountain city. It's really a little town of it's own, with little shops and cafes. It's lovely. The town was first called Hounslow by the British explorer Lachlan Macquarie when he came across it in 1815. On his way back he changed his mind and called it what it is today. In 1836 the place was visited by Charles Darwin, no less. It is known for it's quirkiness and Rhododendron Garden. Jenny Kee is a local Asian artist who hung around the music scene in the 60s, and then settled here. One of the buildings carries a mural of hers. It is impressive in size and beautiful. We call into the shop originally run by the owner of JD & Kim's house. It is still new-agey, and I buy a hipipy necklace for myself. I think I can carry it off, don't you?

We dump the still moving rodent, and pick up the food and up the hill we go. On the way there we listen to some Ragga music. It is a cross between Sega and Reggae. Bob Marley is a bit of a hero to Mauritian youth, who can identify with him as coming from an Island formerly under colonial rule. Also he made good music. So modern Sega has changed to Ragga and clearly has influences of both. JD says I can have the CD.

It's hot. Slip slap slop, and on goes the tripleguard. JD was impressed with my tan, comparing it to Bridget Jones' father-in-law's. Like Dale Winton's he reckons. The cheek, the nerve, the very idea. This tan has been carefully nurtured in the Queensland sun. A little at a time. A gradual build up so as not to burn. 'More like orange spray paint', he jibes.

'Look, this is what I use to protect myself in the sun' I say defensively. The suggestion of cheating is starting to hurt. I hand them my Tripleguard, summer skin, gradual tan SPF15 that I bought at Shoal Bay.

They begin to titter between themselves, and point at the back of the bottle. The tittering becomes a laugh. 'Alright, what is it?' I ask curiously. 'No, it's OK' replies JD before collapsing into laughter again. 'No, it's a really nice tan' sniggers Kim, holding back the tears. 'What Is It? I assert. They hand me back the bottle and point to the relevant paragraphs.

'... helps you built a natural looking tan. With a hint of self tanning agent, achieve a radiant skin all year round even on cloudy days. Apply once a day, preferably after showering, to achieve an even, streak free tan. For external use only ...'

HaHa. Very funny.

Mount Blackheath is hot, but worth the drive. The view of the valley below is breathtaking. In fact geologically these valleys are not made by river erosion. The rivers aren't big enough, rather by the contortions caused by movement of the Earths crust.

So back for a siesta and then dinner in Blackheath. We really should walk into the village. OK then, we reluctantly agree. It's a bit steep. Then I remember I left my camera at the house. What a shame, we'll have to go back and get it, and it is steep. We got back and drive to the curry place. Chat, laugh and chat, then back for an early night. We're back to Sydney tomorrow for the final leg of the trip.