Sunday, 27 December 2009

Friends and relatives

Again loosing track of the days. Managed to get two large screen digital picture frames and loaded photos onto a memory stick. It looks good, I think grandparents like that sort of thing. Apart from that the 27th December is another of those in between sort of days that blur into each other. I didn't realise it was Sunday, so didn't go to church, anyway I think I'll give up on Emmanuel for now, perhaps just St James in the morning. Watched Man U win again, back to their unconvincing best. Arsenal, playing before them, were sublime when Fabrigas came on.

Then my friend Tim, the Baron von Hennel, Earl of Sharston and heir to all he surveys, came round and we gossiped, mostly about what to do about New Years Eve. There are so many conflicting personality dynamics. I think, like most people, I see Christmas as for family and New Year Eve for friends. Also like most people Christmas arrangements are full of balancing the wishes of the various people in the context of what is happening to them now, and has done in the past. There is history between people, especially relatives, as they have been relatives all their lives. They have grown up with each other.

Well, New Years Eve is becoming as fraught and stressful as Christmas. Treading on egg shells and not wanting to miss people out or upset them. History becomes longer with each passing year. The new Mrs Hennel has taken on a leadership role in organising so it's round to theirs for The Party. Ask an organiser to organise and it will be done. As the years go by, though, the relationships are getting as complex as the family relationships. We are no longer university students just getting together for a party. At least with families there's a reason for splitting off into subgroups, new babies for example. With friends, splitting off means somebody or other is, or feels, rejected.

With families, relationships break down, but they're still family and so have to find a way to make up or get on. With friends the same ties don't apply. Relationships, sometimes long term, break up. Then what happens? Either one or other does get asked, or both come and it's difficult all round.

I offered to have the party at mine, but I'm not sure that will help. I think changing the venue is as difficult as managing the relationships. They say you can choose your friends, you can't choose your family. Clearly, it's not as simple as that.

Perhaps I'll bring my 'Friends Trivia game' to the party. That should help it go with a swing. What?

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