Should I stay or should I go?

I had a constructive discussion with my partners today. The reality of the possibility of me leaving may have made them review their position. They seem keener to keep me at the practice, but need to await the accounts before deciding which way to go. Meanwhile I'm exploring options myself ...it's certainly an adventure

Resignation to inevitable change

Today I resigned from my partnership with the practice. I am now free to do what ever I want, well from June anyway

Change is a foot

Dear followers,
The last few weeks have been very difficult for me and it has become very clear that I can no longer work with my partners. This space is too public to record the detail, but I fear that the relationship has broken down. My quandry is what to do now.
I have to work at least two sessions a week in a central Manchester practice to be able to undertake the job of clinical director. This is my priority. However, there are other even more exciting options which I wont go into at this stage.
It is interesting that once the fear is gone, in this case of leaving the comfort of the partnership, all sorts of options become available as your imagination begins to take change. The fear had blocked the imagination, and now it is free and wild again. So I might take a brief financial hit, but not for long. Remember I've done it before. The fear of divorce is worse than the event intself, I should know. In the end, doing the right thing by yourself is the most important thing.
There's a song that Dido, of all people, does that has helped through times of trouble like this. It is about a broken relationship, and has the words 'I promise you you'll see the sun again'. I've been playing it to myself a lot the last week.
The theme in church at the moment is 'lament' which is such a great word. i think I'm emerging from the lament phase again. We'll see

Running up to retirement

The end of an exciting week. What has become clear to me is that I do like my work, but the people I'm working with don't have either the intellectual capacity, whit or humour, to make it worth carrying on for any longer than is necessary.
So I am resolved to retire from the NHS pension scheme on my sixtieth birthday. By that time I will have made sufficient contribution to have a comfortable time of it. I will be continuing to work for the NHS, but perhaps in a more gentle way, and spend more time with my family.

The next five years in the practice is about just keeping my head down and getting on with it. Then I shall draw out the capital from the practice, and thank you very much but goodbye.

Clinical Director

Yes, it's official. I am Clinical Director of Central Manchester Clinical Commissioning Group. This means I'm in charge of improving quality in GP surgeries, and monitoring and managing performance with the local hospital. How exciting. You know what, I'm good at it too.

Meanwhile tomorrow I have to go for a 'medical' which my jealous partners have insisted I go for. They think I'm going crazy or something. It's been a spectacular display of passive aggression played at its most aggressive. As I know I'm completely sane, I don't think there'll be a problem. hahaha, hahaha, twitch twitch.

I was at a meeting today with them all, including a consultant psychiatrist. I think he'll be a good witness.
So here's to the next four years, that's how long we have to save the NHS.

Interview for CCG

I was interviewed today to test my competence for being on the new Clinical Commissioning Board. Although I say so myself, I was brilliant. The questions were unprepared, but I was on a role, man. I even impressed myself with what I was saying. I could see them thinking, 'wow, he's good' and 'I wish I'd thought of that'.
What a contrast to those idiots that I currently work with, who have no idea and take me entirely for granted. They will miss me when I no longer need them.
You see, outside the practice, things couldn't be any better. I'm achieving stuff. Making decisions. Making things better. I think my partners are jealous really. OK envious. They just don't like to think that their boring lives are carrying on just as they are.
As soon as I can I will leave that poisoned environment, and let them to rot in their own self-satisfied poo. Then they can use it to fertilise their alotments, and good luck to them. Well at least they'll have nice roses.
The sap of confidence is rising again.

Looking ahead

The greatest derby in world, the head lines blaze. Manchester United against a newly invigorated Manchester City. Spookily the league tables from the 1960s put United and City equal top of the league. Just as they are now. Still the papers may be over hyping the occasion. In other cities there seems to be genuine hatred, Glasgow, Milan, North London, but in Manchester I don't get the same sense of hatred. Sure there's rivalry, and no shortage of fervent banter, but hatred? I don't recognise that. There seems to be much more mixing of people supporting either team and the sectarian origins have been forgotten. There's a new movement spreading around the bill boards. I love Manchester, like the I love NY campaign, seems to be spreading.

Emily, Anne, Lucas and me, all went over to Leeds yesterday to see Lizzy. We had lunch in a Leeds United pub. There were photographs of the old Leeds team. Now that was a hated team.

Earlier in the week I put an offer in for a house in Chorlton. A house about half the size was going to be about the same price as I'd get for my present house. The sums didn't add up. Besides I love my present house. It has everything I need.

At work things are a little easier. I have reduced my working time to three half days a week, allowing more time to focus on other things. Principally I would like to do more writing and in due course to the Clinical Commissioning Group, and weekends in London to see Jonnie and Rachel.

Rivalry, hatred and betrayal are strong words to use in recent blogs. It's time to put those words back in their box marked 'looser', and open the box marked 'winner'. Come on you Reds! and good luck you Blues, lets hope for a jolly good contest and make Manchester the winner.

I love Manchester and my house