We are still inbetween things today. It looks like I'm hosting the New Year's Eve party now. I don't mind really. It should be interesting at least.
I also get to meet Rachel's new boyfriend. He's an interesting young man who was in the RAF and now works as an aircraft engineer. He says he likes to work hard and play hard.I'm not sure what that means, but accept another drink from him before they're off to Lydia's birthday party. It's for their generation. In other words I need not attend!
An older relative has become ill over the last few days, probably precipitated by the excitement of Christmas but maybe also the flu jab. I'm called to go round and do so. I am missing my doctoring work and quite looking forward to returning to the coal face.
I also booked flights to Pisa and had a look at other Tuscan properties on the internet. This idea is starting to become more real. I wonder what will happen to it.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Monday, 28 December 2009
Huddersfield
Between Christmas and New Year we go to my parents. They look forward to it all year and the organisation in meticulous. This year it's at a hotel, as catering is probably easier that way. We've had it at their house before and it all gets a bit fraught. We will pick up up the drinks tab. We have booked our meals in advance so the hotel know who is having what. Everyone descends on the place at the appointed time.
Despite initial hesitation we all get on very well. We always do as everyone is determined to have a good time. The seating has been carefully arranged to minimise any possible friction. My children are spread across each table, as are all the children. In fact we are all very well mixed up.
I have bought my parents a digital picture frame. So has Heather. Oh dear, hers is smaller than mine, so she feels a bit put out but able to smile about it. I've also loaded up photos which I hope will be OK. Many of the ones of my children are from facebook, and not necessarily the ones they'd choose for their grandparents, but hey, it's their natural way of being and more interesting than posed photos.
Then it's time to go back to mum & dad's house. They look forward to this bit too. My children prefer to go home a this stage, which is a shame because Granny and cousins would like them to stick around a bit longer. There is clearly a good reason for it, as always, and anyway Emily is going back to America tomorrow so no late night. Hmmm.
My brother, or more specifically Kate, his wife are able to take me home later so I stay a bit longer. Amongst other things we play giant pick-up-sticks. Excellent, must borrow for New Year party which, I've just heard, is going to be at mine, although no official work yet.
Christmas is finally over for another year. It's been fun. Now to face the New Year.
Despite initial hesitation we all get on very well. We always do as everyone is determined to have a good time. The seating has been carefully arranged to minimise any possible friction. My children are spread across each table, as are all the children. In fact we are all very well mixed up.
I have bought my parents a digital picture frame. So has Heather. Oh dear, hers is smaller than mine, so she feels a bit put out but able to smile about it. I've also loaded up photos which I hope will be OK. Many of the ones of my children are from facebook, and not necessarily the ones they'd choose for their grandparents, but hey, it's their natural way of being and more interesting than posed photos.
Then it's time to go back to mum & dad's house. They look forward to this bit too. My children prefer to go home a this stage, which is a shame because Granny and cousins would like them to stick around a bit longer. There is clearly a good reason for it, as always, and anyway Emily is going back to America tomorrow so no late night. Hmmm.
My brother, or more specifically Kate, his wife are able to take me home later so I stay a bit longer. Amongst other things we play giant pick-up-sticks. Excellent, must borrow for New Year party which, I've just heard, is going to be at mine, although no official work yet.
Christmas is finally over for another year. It's been fun. Now to face the New Year.
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Friends and relatives
Again loosing track of the days. Managed to get two large screen digital picture frames and loaded photos onto a memory stick. It looks good, I think grandparents like that sort of thing. Apart from that the 27th December is another of those in between sort of days that blur into each other. I didn't realise it was Sunday, so didn't go to church, anyway I think I'll give up on Emmanuel for now, perhaps just St James in the morning. Watched Man U win again, back to their unconvincing best. Arsenal, playing before them, were sublime when Fabrigas came on.
Then my friend Tim, the Baron von Hennel, Earl of Sharston and heir to all he surveys, came round and we gossiped, mostly about what to do about New Years Eve. There are so many conflicting personality dynamics. I think, like most people, I see Christmas as for family and New Year Eve for friends. Also like most people Christmas arrangements are full of balancing the wishes of the various people in the context of what is happening to them now, and has done in the past. There is history between people, especially relatives, as they have been relatives all their lives. They have grown up with each other.
Well, New Years Eve is becoming as fraught and stressful as Christmas. Treading on egg shells and not wanting to miss people out or upset them. History becomes longer with each passing year. The new Mrs Hennel has taken on a leadership role in organising so it's round to theirs for The Party. Ask an organiser to organise and it will be done. As the years go by, though, the relationships are getting as complex as the family relationships. We are no longer university students just getting together for a party. At least with families there's a reason for splitting off into subgroups, new babies for example. With friends, splitting off means somebody or other is, or feels, rejected.
With families, relationships break down, but they're still family and so have to find a way to make up or get on. With friends the same ties don't apply. Relationships, sometimes long term, break up. Then what happens? Either one or other does get asked, or both come and it's difficult all round.
I offered to have the party at mine, but I'm not sure that will help. I think changing the venue is as difficult as managing the relationships. They say you can choose your friends, you can't choose your family. Clearly, it's not as simple as that.
Perhaps I'll bring my 'Friends Trivia game' to the party. That should help it go with a swing. What?
Then my friend Tim, the Baron von Hennel, Earl of Sharston and heir to all he surveys, came round and we gossiped, mostly about what to do about New Years Eve. There are so many conflicting personality dynamics. I think, like most people, I see Christmas as for family and New Year Eve for friends. Also like most people Christmas arrangements are full of balancing the wishes of the various people in the context of what is happening to them now, and has done in the past. There is history between people, especially relatives, as they have been relatives all their lives. They have grown up with each other.
Well, New Years Eve is becoming as fraught and stressful as Christmas. Treading on egg shells and not wanting to miss people out or upset them. History becomes longer with each passing year. The new Mrs Hennel has taken on a leadership role in organising so it's round to theirs for The Party. Ask an organiser to organise and it will be done. As the years go by, though, the relationships are getting as complex as the family relationships. We are no longer university students just getting together for a party. At least with families there's a reason for splitting off into subgroups, new babies for example. With friends, splitting off means somebody or other is, or feels, rejected.
With families, relationships break down, but they're still family and so have to find a way to make up or get on. With friends the same ties don't apply. Relationships, sometimes long term, break up. Then what happens? Either one or other does get asked, or both come and it's difficult all round.
I offered to have the party at mine, but I'm not sure that will help. I think changing the venue is as difficult as managing the relationships. They say you can choose your friends, you can't choose your family. Clearly, it's not as simple as that.
Perhaps I'll bring my 'Friends Trivia game' to the party. That should help it go with a swing. What?
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Boxing Day 2009
Boxing day is a day for relaxing after the Christmas festivities, so that's what I've been doing. Nothing extraordinary happened. Eat, watched TV, watched 'In search of Eric' and went over the road for a drink. Earlier in the day I loaded up my photos onto the computer ready to transfer onto Grandparents digital screens.
Friday, 25 December 2009
It's Christmas Day
'Come on Ives, it's time to open the stockings'. It is no longer a crack of dawn thing, but this ritual of ours dates back to when the children were small, and used to get us up at seriously ridiculous o'clock. Its later now as the grown up children have themselves been up until late last night. So I get up. I think I'm still jet-lagged and have picked up a cold, and don't call me Ives.
Anne has spent a lot of time, as every year, preparing the stocking fillers for the children and the opening ceremony takes up an hour or so, and everyone has fun. Mustn't be grumpy. It is the start of Christmas day.
The 'children', by the way, are 26, 24, 21 and 17 years respectively
'Come on Ivan join in and cheer up'. 'I am cheered up' I force a smile, while still feeling headachey and sore throaty. I think being told to cheer up is enough to make anyone grumpy.
'Bags first in the shower', says one. 'Then me', says another. I'll go to my house (we're at Anne's), for a shower. I fancy the walk, it might clear my head. I think it's best anyway, relieve a bit of tension that is building up. 'I'll be back for church'. Of course I wasn't ready for church, and Anne had to come and pick me up.
Church on Christmas day is at Chorlton Central Church. This is the church we all went to together when the children were small. Anne still goes. It was originally a Baptist church, and still is officially, as far as I know. Being in Chorlton though it is very much at the 'liberal' end of the theological spectrum that is Christianity. It caters for all sorts. Just as it should be. There are people like me, normal. There are people with long term illnesses and people of a variety of orientations and races. Talking of being grumpy, even my friend Ged is there with his family. Well Catholics, lapsed or not, have to go to church on Christmas day. The congregation is small, about fifty or so, but it's lovely. After the service I express the hope that Ged received 'a cheerful disposition' this year. 'Not likely' comes back the Jordy response, and a list of shortcomings that have dogged the progress of Newcastle United this season.
The usual showing of presents from young children happens. Worryingly the number of small children has declined. I don't know what it's like normally but the presence of small children signifies, for me, a growing church. It may be different at other times. 'Any of those at that back got any presents?' 'No, not one' I say in a low voice which nobody notices. I actually don't mind not having lots of presents at this stage of the day. It would be nice to get a few later. The grown-ups will open theirs this afternoon. In any case I think there are too many presents. Chorlton is a liberal, eco-friendly, anti-capitalist, anti-materialist village where vegetarians can practice without fear of persecution and wholefood shops flourish. Even here, the number of presents given is the indicator of how important and seriously you are taking Christmas, and how much you care. Your status is based on how many presents are shared. My status is low, and so low numbers of presents. A bit like Jesus really, well except for the gold.
Christmas dinner is again a grand occasion and much appreciation shown to the cooks. A marvelous turkey, although Rachel has fish, and all the trimmings. A glass of wine and I'm stuffed. We do normally think about a walk after lunch, in recent years the thought has been just that. This year no-one even suggests it. It's TV and doze. Then off for more present opening.
I got a coffee maker, much needed since the last one died, a 'friends' trivia quiz, small bottles of wine, a calender, the Andrew Marr book on British history, pairs of socks, the video of the film 'looking for Eric' and a few other things which will come to me. Just the right amount and quality of presents.
Back for more TV. A little dispute about which programme, but as luck would have it nothing on except Dr Who, excellent.
In the evening it's more food then games, charades, peg in a milk bottle, the sock, the tray memory game. 'Boys name-girls name' has been shelved this year due to excessive competitiveness last year, the high status people have decided. Then Grandpa Richard tells a few stories during which I fall embarasingly asleep, and back home to bed.
Apart from a blip in the middle of the day, betraying remaining underlying issues, the day has gone well and everyone has enjoyed themselves. We can start planning for next year. Only 364 shopping days left.
Anne has spent a lot of time, as every year, preparing the stocking fillers for the children and the opening ceremony takes up an hour or so, and everyone has fun. Mustn't be grumpy. It is the start of Christmas day.
The 'children', by the way, are 26, 24, 21 and 17 years respectively
'Come on Ivan join in and cheer up'. 'I am cheered up' I force a smile, while still feeling headachey and sore throaty. I think being told to cheer up is enough to make anyone grumpy.
'Bags first in the shower', says one. 'Then me', says another. I'll go to my house (we're at Anne's), for a shower. I fancy the walk, it might clear my head. I think it's best anyway, relieve a bit of tension that is building up. 'I'll be back for church'. Of course I wasn't ready for church, and Anne had to come and pick me up.
Church on Christmas day is at Chorlton Central Church. This is the church we all went to together when the children were small. Anne still goes. It was originally a Baptist church, and still is officially, as far as I know. Being in Chorlton though it is very much at the 'liberal' end of the theological spectrum that is Christianity. It caters for all sorts. Just as it should be. There are people like me, normal. There are people with long term illnesses and people of a variety of orientations and races. Talking of being grumpy, even my friend Ged is there with his family. Well Catholics, lapsed or not, have to go to church on Christmas day. The congregation is small, about fifty or so, but it's lovely. After the service I express the hope that Ged received 'a cheerful disposition' this year. 'Not likely' comes back the Jordy response, and a list of shortcomings that have dogged the progress of Newcastle United this season.
The usual showing of presents from young children happens. Worryingly the number of small children has declined. I don't know what it's like normally but the presence of small children signifies, for me, a growing church. It may be different at other times. 'Any of those at that back got any presents?' 'No, not one' I say in a low voice which nobody notices. I actually don't mind not having lots of presents at this stage of the day. It would be nice to get a few later. The grown-ups will open theirs this afternoon. In any case I think there are too many presents. Chorlton is a liberal, eco-friendly, anti-capitalist, anti-materialist village where vegetarians can practice without fear of persecution and wholefood shops flourish. Even here, the number of presents given is the indicator of how important and seriously you are taking Christmas, and how much you care. Your status is based on how many presents are shared. My status is low, and so low numbers of presents. A bit like Jesus really, well except for the gold.
Christmas dinner is again a grand occasion and much appreciation shown to the cooks. A marvelous turkey, although Rachel has fish, and all the trimmings. A glass of wine and I'm stuffed. We do normally think about a walk after lunch, in recent years the thought has been just that. This year no-one even suggests it. It's TV and doze. Then off for more present opening.
I got a coffee maker, much needed since the last one died, a 'friends' trivia quiz, small bottles of wine, a calender, the Andrew Marr book on British history, pairs of socks, the video of the film 'looking for Eric' and a few other things which will come to me. Just the right amount and quality of presents.
Back for more TV. A little dispute about which programme, but as luck would have it nothing on except Dr Who, excellent.
In the evening it's more food then games, charades, peg in a milk bottle, the sock, the tray memory game. 'Boys name-girls name' has been shelved this year due to excessive competitiveness last year, the high status people have decided. Then Grandpa Richard tells a few stories during which I fall embarasingly asleep, and back home to bed.
Apart from a blip in the middle of the day, betraying remaining underlying issues, the day has gone well and everyone has enjoyed themselves. We can start planning for next year. Only 364 shopping days left.
Rien ne change
It's Christmas eve, the time we've been waiting for all year, the time we travel 'home' to be with family and loved ones. It's the time when we're going to be jolly come what may, and remember the reason why we celebrate it, and on decisions made in the past, for richer, for poorer, 'til death do us part.
By the way, I can't be doing with those cynics who say that it's just a pagan ritual anyway and there's no way Jesus was born on December 25th. You've missed the point maaan.
Christmas eve is an odd one though, and yesterday, for me particularly, was an odd one. I've got a cold and a sore throat and a headache. Also I've got to be jolly cos my friends want to see me too, then over to the family for buffet tea, then adult children are going out. By this time I'm too tired so have an early night after wrapping presents.
'Come on Ivan, cheer up'. 'I am cheered up, I just don't feel very well' I say to myself. It's very rare for me to have a cold, and it has always been difficult for me to be ill, there's always someone else who is more ill, or more tired. or more hard worked. 'You shouldn't have so much to drink' a helpful daughter suggests - a pint of beer and a glass of wine over six hours. You can't object though or it sounds defensive, and people think you're an alchy. 'No, OK' I say through gritted teeth. 'I'm ill' I mutter under my breath.
The family had gathered at Anne's sister's house for a joint tea. Everyone is jolly and joins in. Uncle John can't set off until tomorrow and is likely to be up at lunchtime. There's a murmur of understanding with an undercurrent of disapproval. No games tonight but may be tomorrow. Christmas day.
By the way, I can't be doing with those cynics who say that it's just a pagan ritual anyway and there's no way Jesus was born on December 25th. You've missed the point maaan.
Christmas eve is an odd one though, and yesterday, for me particularly, was an odd one. I've got a cold and a sore throat and a headache. Also I've got to be jolly cos my friends want to see me too, then over to the family for buffet tea, then adult children are going out. By this time I'm too tired so have an early night after wrapping presents.
'Come on Ivan, cheer up'. 'I am cheered up, I just don't feel very well' I say to myself. It's very rare for me to have a cold, and it has always been difficult for me to be ill, there's always someone else who is more ill, or more tired. or more hard worked. 'You shouldn't have so much to drink' a helpful daughter suggests - a pint of beer and a glass of wine over six hours. You can't object though or it sounds defensive, and people think you're an alchy. 'No, OK' I say through gritted teeth. 'I'm ill' I mutter under my breath.
The family had gathered at Anne's sister's house for a joint tea. Everyone is jolly and joins in. Uncle John can't set off until tomorrow and is likely to be up at lunchtime. There's a murmur of understanding with an undercurrent of disapproval. No games tonight but may be tomorrow. Christmas day.
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
All change
Benito, not Luigi as previously recorded, has e-mailed to say my offer has been accepted. This is a definite High.
The last couple of days have been recovery and back to reality days. My facebook status has changed and now I'm going back to be ploughing my own furrow for a while. Mind you I have been in Australia and I'm used to it. This is not the place for an analysis of feelings. Low
I had a call from Ade to wish me Happy Christmas, he also persuaded me to continue my blog. High. I'm not sure I'm in the right emotional place to say much today, but to note a few developments.Low.
Emily is back from NYC for a few days over Christmas. I do miss her when she's away. Apparently she's having a great time as an nanny and the family love her. How could you not? Seeing the others too, after a long break, was a great joy. I'm so proud of my children and am reluctant to go on about it publicly. I will just say I love them all enormously, they are such fun. High.
I didn't realise tomorrow is Christmas eve. Too late for present buying and need to get round to wrapping the ones I have. I'm going to go into the surgery today to pick up mail, deliver presents to staff and generally catch up. I also need to fax off a report from the hospital about the stroke. The last MRI scan showed that the infarct has shrunk a little, but I know that what is important is the functional recovery, and this seems static. Talking of which I spoke to my friend Chris, an eye specialist, who says that I cannot drive with my visual field defect. You need 180 degrees of horizontal field vision and at least 40 degrees up and down vertically. I don't have that. I'm missing the left upper quadrant, and that wont change. The DVLA will suspend my licence, but I can appeal to say that I have now adapted to it and can drive safely. This will mean going to them to undertake an assessment to see if I'm OK. I can't believe I'm going to have to go to Swansea for that. There must be somewhere closer. Low.
In order to finance my Italy thing I'm going to rent out one of my rooms. I haven't discussed with Rachel yet, so must do today. I went to the bank, and it seems surprisingly, remarkably straight forward to borrow extra money, effectively remortgaging the house. I thought I was going to have to sell and had arranged for Estate Agents to come and value it. I don't have to do that now. I really didn't want to have to. I love my house. High.
My Italy thing is a villa in Tuscany. I can rent it as a holiday home and also use it myself. I guess I'll find out who my friends are, but I think I already know that and they can come for free. It is 50 minutes from skiing one way and the beach the other, with fabulous views across the valley. The place is currently owned by a couple who have split up and it looks like a bargain. I'm going to go over in early January to have a look. Meanwhile, and all being well, we have arrived at a price of €250,000. The other outstanding issue is how to get there, but Jet2 have flights in the summer. High
The work situation is sill developing as we seek to come to a new arrangement and incorporate a new partner. I have been re-energised by my firen Winn and looking forward to taking it forward. High
So there are definitely more highs than lows, and certainly a few changes. Cup still half full. It will be interesting.
The last couple of days have been recovery and back to reality days. My facebook status has changed and now I'm going back to be ploughing my own furrow for a while. Mind you I have been in Australia and I'm used to it. This is not the place for an analysis of feelings. Low
I had a call from Ade to wish me Happy Christmas, he also persuaded me to continue my blog. High. I'm not sure I'm in the right emotional place to say much today, but to note a few developments.Low.
Emily is back from NYC for a few days over Christmas. I do miss her when she's away. Apparently she's having a great time as an nanny and the family love her. How could you not? Seeing the others too, after a long break, was a great joy. I'm so proud of my children and am reluctant to go on about it publicly. I will just say I love them all enormously, they are such fun. High.
I didn't realise tomorrow is Christmas eve. Too late for present buying and need to get round to wrapping the ones I have. I'm going to go into the surgery today to pick up mail, deliver presents to staff and generally catch up. I also need to fax off a report from the hospital about the stroke. The last MRI scan showed that the infarct has shrunk a little, but I know that what is important is the functional recovery, and this seems static. Talking of which I spoke to my friend Chris, an eye specialist, who says that I cannot drive with my visual field defect. You need 180 degrees of horizontal field vision and at least 40 degrees up and down vertically. I don't have that. I'm missing the left upper quadrant, and that wont change. The DVLA will suspend my licence, but I can appeal to say that I have now adapted to it and can drive safely. This will mean going to them to undertake an assessment to see if I'm OK. I can't believe I'm going to have to go to Swansea for that. There must be somewhere closer. Low.
In order to finance my Italy thing I'm going to rent out one of my rooms. I haven't discussed with Rachel yet, so must do today. I went to the bank, and it seems surprisingly, remarkably straight forward to borrow extra money, effectively remortgaging the house. I thought I was going to have to sell and had arranged for Estate Agents to come and value it. I don't have to do that now. I really didn't want to have to. I love my house. High.
My Italy thing is a villa in Tuscany. I can rent it as a holiday home and also use it myself. I guess I'll find out who my friends are, but I think I already know that and they can come for free. It is 50 minutes from skiing one way and the beach the other, with fabulous views across the valley. The place is currently owned by a couple who have split up and it looks like a bargain. I'm going to go over in early January to have a look. Meanwhile, and all being well, we have arrived at a price of €250,000. The other outstanding issue is how to get there, but Jet2 have flights in the summer. HighThe work situation is sill developing as we seek to come to a new arrangement and incorporate a new partner. I have been re-energised by my firen Winn and looking forward to taking it forward. High
So there are definitely more highs than lows, and certainly a few changes. Cup still half full. It will be interesting.
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