I wondered lonely as a cloud

Wordsworth's wife was Mary Hutchinson, right? His sister was Dorothy and they all lived at Dove cottage in Grassmere. Annette Vallon was his French lover and mother of one of his children. Yesterday I went up to the lakes in search of daffodils. This was the wrong decision. First of all there are very few daffodils in the Lake district and secondly it caused no end of trouble. Ade and Sue were are up for the weekend and I should have spent time with them. I made a mistake. Back home everyone seemed to fall out with everybody else, especially me.
Today I'm going to watch them play football and wander up and down the touch line shouting encouragement. It's mothers day too, so hello mum, and I'll call you later. Also Anne mother of my children, and Emily, mother of my grandson. Love to you all and hope to see you later.
I wonder why life has to be so complicated?

Sauze Doulx 2012

Sammy the barmaid from Sauze Doulx
Had a favourite drink of Iron Bru
That's because she's a Scot
Which we certainly are not
Except Syko who hasn't a clue


This was one of the questions at the quiz night on day 2. Jonnie and I had gone out after dinner, and bumped into some people we met the night before. One of the tasks was to form a Limerick from the ingredient given. This was our attempt. It didn't win. A much more saucy one did.
The skiing is of course great. The other three in the party are Dave, Mort and Peter. This year it's Peter's turn to room with me. He,s a good roomy and never complains.
Skiing is a bit more worrying than it was even a year ago. although my sight can cope perfectly well, I am constantly anxious especially if I get isolated, or have to go on a lift on my own. I have done four days skiing, but skipped yesterday and also today.
The sun is out, and the snow is melting. Today is Saturday and the prediction is of crowds coming up from Turin for a weekend break. So I decided to go for a walk in the hills yesterday. Brilliant, hard work and scary. Well a little bit scary. I lost the track high up in the mountain, but decided to keep my bearings and hold my nerve.
The great thing about being lost, is that you are never quite sure where you are going to end up. Amazingly I ended up pretty much where I wanted to be. So I set off again today. I got lost again today. Finally I found myself about fifty yards from the hotel. don't ask me how.
Skiing is skiing, but in the sunshine, with right deep blue sky's it is exhilarating. Fortunately the bar we meet in for lunch is within walking distance so in about half an hour I'll head for there by foot.
Tomorrow we'll be home again, and needing to face a small storm about the quality indicators we need to set the hospital trust. Oh well, Sauze is a lovely place, with fabulous pistes. I would come again, even in the summer.
Sammy, the Scottish barmaid may not, after some of the more rude Limericks

Spring seems to be here

I've just been for a fabulous run along the river, and back through Fletcher Moss park. The crocuses are out and the daphs are poking up though the grass. Egg and bacon for breky. The sun is shining and all is well with the world.

All is very well.

I can't believe its been so long

It looks like it's been about six weeks since I wrote anything. Well the Blog master doesn't lie.

About three weeks ago I had a fit, seizure, epileptic turn, whatever you want to call it. I was about to give a presentation to a regional NHS committee called 'the Cluster'. They have taken over from the PCT and are overseeing the development of Clinical Commissioning Groups. I was to deliver a talk aimed at satisfying them that we have systems in place for preventing a recurrence of the Mid-Staffordhire NHS disaster. Here the over viewing body, the PCT then, did not have proper systems in place for holding the hospital Trust to account. There was a failure, if you like, of appropriate scrutiny and regulation. The 'Francis report' was the result of an enquiry into what went wrong and so we have to now satisfy the 'Cluster' that as a CCG we wont fall into making the mistakes of 'mid-stafs'. We wont, but we had to demonstrate it. I was looking forward to showing off how good we are. Which we are.

As I was about to stand up I started feeling very peculiar, weirdly weird. My eye sight was going crazy, in the zone where I was not able to see normally. The next thing I knew I was waking up in the back of an ambulance on it's way to the MRI. I had bitten my tongue. There was no doubt what had happened. There had been a room full of witnesses.

We joked after that I had taken the Francis report thing about scrutinising hospital services a bit too far. I did actually get pretty amazing treatment, including a visit from the deputy chief executive and the medical director. I don't think every A&E attendance gets such high level visitors. The news spread like wildfire and within a day or two I was getting messages from far and wide.

Fortunately, it hasn't happened again and I'm on medication. Brain scans are OK, so no new event.

All this has happened at the same time as my partners are making life difficult for me.

Good news though. I have got a post and accepted it, at another practice. Its a salaried post but who cares. I will see normal patients for two sessions and do a third cardiology session. Meanwhile I have also discovered that I am the contract holder for the current NHS contract, so if I go from my present practice then it has to be put out to tender. Oh dear what a responsibility. I have used my newly realised bargaining power to argue for a continued presence at my current practice to see the patients that still want to see me. Suddenly I have the best of all worlds.

The CCG stuff is going from strength to strength. We are getting widely praised for our collaborative work with the hospital, redesigning and integrating care in the community. The practices are also starting to see the benefits and becoming more enthused.

Oh, and I'm going to Mauritius again with the children and hopefully grandchild, in September.

So, it's not that nothing has happened that there has been a pause in the blog, rather the opposite. Life is good and changing all the time. God is good, but no more fits please.

A year of ups and downs

I will be putting stuff into this bit later

Ups of course is Lucas, with the down of him and Emily going back to America

Up is becoming Clinical Director of Central Manchester Clinical Commissioning group, down is being made to go to see if I'm mental (which I'm not, I don't think)

Up is going to the gym more, down is finally accepting I can't be bothered playing football

Up is being single and pleasing myself, down is being single and having no one else to please.

Wishes for this year
Get back to 85 Kg and stay fit, make a difference in CCG, do the cardiology clinic somewhere else, visit America and perhaps India, get down to Devon at least three times

Radio 4 Christmas service

The night before last I went to take part in the recording of the Radio 4 Christmas service, at Emanuel church. Listen in, you might catch my voice singing heartily to some great tunes. It is actually a lovely service and John Bell was as insightful and uplifting as ever

Socrates is dead

I suppose I better start thinking about Christmas presents.
The last week or so has been a bit distracting. I had my iPad stolen in a house brake in. My work colleagues and I have not been seeing eye to eye, and Emily and Lucas have gone back to America. To cap it all, Brazilian football captain, doctor, politician and the player on whom my own illustrious career was modelled, Socrates, is dead. His smoking, excessive drinking and womanising finally caught up with him. For him football and life was an art, to be enjoyed rather than fretted about. I shall mourn him, as I mourn my own football career coming to an end.
Losing Emily and Lucas for Christmas has been the hardest to bare, but they managed the journey without trouble and are safely in their new home. Skype, for those of us in the 21st century, is a brilliant way of keeping in touch with people too far away to visit frequently.
The loss of the iPad and fixing the smashed in back patio door was hugely irritating. Unfortunately I can't really blame anyone but myself. The keys were in the glass door, the iPad was on show on the kitchen table and blinds open, and the lights were on and illuminating the whole place. The only consolation is that the insurance company has sorted everything out just effortlessly. I will need to reconfigure my new iPad, but I'm hoping someone can do that for me.
Work wise we seem to have come to an agreement about the partnership share due to my reduced involvement. I'm happy with it at any rate. Now I can focus on the job of Clinical Director in the brave new NHS.
The 'ConDem' changes seem to have sparked furious outrage from the Left who have become most indignant at the Government's effrontery in privatising the NHS. They forget that it was the Labour Government who started the process. I didn't hear their strident voices back me up in 2005. Nevertheless we are where we are, and I actually think there is an opportunity now to really give some radical thought to how services are provided. I think there is a chance for a 21st century co-operative movement within the NHS. I just hope someone has the courage, leadership and will to see it that way.
Now what shall I get everyone for Christmas?  But first, let me see if Emily is awake yet in Stanford Connecticut.